I finished my amaryllis. I'm trying to paint fresh. Without fear. Trust my instincts. I don't want to do ho-hum, flowers. (i'm not sure I even like flower paintings??) Believe that what is inside my head is good enough to put on paper. To make it dark, darker, darker but then, keep the whites and lights... and make sure your corners are different and your center of interest is actually your center of interest, keep things directly out of the center, etc. etc....
Oh heck, finally I just enjoyed it and painted it like no one cared but me.
I ran into a friend today. She has been feeling really bad. She said, "have you ever had a panic attack? It feels like your insides are shaking". OMG ....I felt so so bad for her. That must be horrible. I've never been that anxious... yet.
Fear and anxiety. Why do we feel so much fear about living our lives, painting our canvas? Are our rules too restrictive? Our standards too high? Do we worry about what other people will think too much? Why are our insides shaking???
I have all the colors, paper, and tools I need to make a good painting and to enjoy my life. With more time and more practice, someday... you'll see... I'll cross over that mountain in front of me.... but I realize that I have to travel with Fear, Anxiety, Discouragement. I have to make them my friend. They can't hold me back, they won't keep me still, they won't even slow me down . I"M HIKIN THIS HILL. They can walk with me but I set the boundaries on what they will do with me on this journey.
The heart breaks and breaks
and lives by breaking.
It is necessary to go through dark and deeper dark
and not to turn from the Testing Tree. by Stan Kimitz
If you hear a voice within you say, "You cannot paint". Then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. Vincent Van Gogh.
I wonder if it would help my friend to paint??