Mind over Matter

Modigliani called my name again last night. His photograph had been haunting me. Or as some would say, he was channeling me (OMG, the good Christian girl in me didn't say that, did she!).

He was such a bad boy, but such a wonderful, driven artist that produced a tremendous amount of work even under the stress of war and chronic illness. His fame came at the last year of his life and has increased to the present day.

I tried to paint this portrait in a (don't laugh) in a more "painterly fashion". I'm pleased with that result for the most part but I don't think I achieved capturing the restlessness in his face, the wildness in his eyes...... (Now I get it, he reminds me of my son and the look in his eyes). But, I loved painting Modigliani, as I added minute little details, it was such a pleasure, - one of those kind of pleasures that's like traveling to an exotic place you've never seen before and exploring the island with all the curiosity and passion of a child looking for a treasure to carry home. ANYONE can draw, and when you learn to draw, you can paint, and when you paint, your mind has the most wonderful playground to steal away to in the midst of any chaos or worries. I know Modigliani's life-time of work in the midst of his personal struggles represents that truth.

Evening Entertainment

You wanna know how Sweet Farmer and Odd Chick entertain themselves? Well, besides the obvious, one of the things we like to do is sit out on our front porch in the evenings. I make Cherry Chiltons (that's a salted glass with lemon juice, fresh cherry juice from Cloudcroft, a little vodka sometimes, and diet 7-up). We sit on a wooden bench that Sweet Farmer gave me for Mother's Day eons ago, and watch our new little kitten. She's named Obie (short for Obie Juan Kinnobie). Her favorite thing is to try to sneak up on the pigeons who are sneaking up on the porch to steal dog food.

We laugh and urge her on to be a brave, strong kitty. But she forgets what she's doing if a moth flies by or she sees her tail or a leaf dances across her peripheral vision, and the pigeon wins again.

And then Odd Chick has to draw and watercolor a pigeon after we go in.

That pretty much sums up a great evening for us, except of course, the obvious.

(Okay, the rest of the story... Sweet Farmer and I had to go bale and rake hay at 8:45 p.m. until 3:00 a.m. because the moisture came in at that time).

I told the kitty "bye" and the moral to the story is: sweet moments don't grow on trees, somebody has to pay for the cat food.

Paintings passed the test

Two of the three paintings I submitted for the art show got juried in. This one "Hope Unfolding".

And this one: "Mr. Mantis Praying"

And this one "Looking For Answers" didn't make it in. I wonder if it was because of its religious connotations or because the palette is more muted.

They will show in early August at the Roswell Museum. Thanks for all the well wishes. I was pleased to get two in this year. I'll let you know about the final results.

Next week is when I take Ken Hosmer's class. Can't wait to bring some new stuff home.

Anxiety Attacks

I've been playing with Modigliani images again. When I can't seem to create, he is always available to inspire me.

It seems everywhere I turn someone else has fallen into anxiety attacks. Nearly every friend I know is on Prozac or some other anti-anxiety medication. I keep waiting for it to hit me like you would a bad flu that's going around. What is happening? Even little kids are having problems now. It makes me so sad. Is it our diet? Our environment? Our relationships? I wish we could figure out what is going on because I know that people are suffering with this and it seems epidemic. Out of a group of 10 close friends or family - are you seeing most of them on anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs? I'm just curious. Maybe it's just my locale or the friends I'm attracted to...... Why is it so much more prevalent than it use to be, like 10 years ago?

I refuse to be anxious about anything. I hate the feeling and refuse to let it dock in the harbour of my mind. My mantra is: if you can do something about it - you don't have to worry. If you can't do something about it - you don't have to worry. But apparently mind over matter is not enough because I know others hate being anxious and would avoid it if possible. I would love to hear your comments about this subject.

A Little Red Sports Car?????

I drive a big old honkin suburban and I've dreamed of having a little red sports car to zip around in. Well, Sweet Farmer has been bored. It has rained a lot, you see, and when it rains on a hay farmer, there's not much he can do but wait. Waiting is hard during farming season. So the man just needed a diversion. So he bought a little red sports car. He spent $400.

He had to work on it an hour to get it to start.

Not exactly what I had pictured.

But I hear it is getting a make-over in the shop as we speak. All it needed was a new fuse to run like new. They are cutting the top off, putting new tires on, recovering the seats, a lift-kit possibly, a hydraulic system that will raise the bed in the back. What bed? Oh, yeah, they will fashion a bed to go on the back. And WALL-AH!! A fancy little farm vehicle that will haul things and zip around. A perfect car to teach my grandsons to drive. A fun wagon that Sweet Farmer will run by and pick me up to check on pecan orchards and turn our pivots off and on, and check our crops, and take Sunday snoop drives around other's farms..... A car I can spit sunflower seeds out the window and prop my feet on the dash.

Funny, I guess it was exactly what I pictured after all.

Peaceful and Painting

Things are very peaceful around here. It has rained several inches on our beautiful corn fields, and our pecan orchards look like state parks. God is good. Sometimes I feel like my heart will burst for all the blessings that surround me.

It's that time of year when we have our yearly art show at the museum in Roswell. I have submitted 3 paintings to be juried. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Last year, I submitted one painting very timidly, and got in. I didn't win anything but my goal was only to get in. Now, I want to win something so I submitted more chances. I should know something next week.

I also will soon be going to an art class in Cloudcroft and the instructor will be Ken Hosmer. I am really excited. If anyone knows anything about this artist, good or bad, I would be interested in hearing your comments.

Art is that consistent companion that adds icing to my strawberry cake of life.

This is my journal entry. The above is what happened after I played with it in Flickr.

Back from Blogging Vacation

I took a vacation from blogging in case you didn't notice to spend some time with Sweet Farmer, to care for my Mom after an emergency operation and.... just because.... well, I got out of the habit and I'm a creature of habit. I've missed my blogging friends and staying in touch. I hope you all haven't dropped me from your blogging roles and that I can hear from you again.

We lost our other little Australian Shepherd, Allie at the end of June to cancer.

She was really Sweet Farmer's dog, and Annie was mine but now we have no inside dogs for the first time since we were married. I painted this little sketch of Sweet Farmer and Scottie, a starving stray we nurtured back to health because I know that I mustn't take their friendship for granted. We must enjoy them while we can because they are each one a very unique creature and a gift and privilege to know and care for.

Just as caring for my Mom after an emergency surgery on a perforated bowel was my pleasure and a unique time to share with her. I will always treasure the time we spent together during her recovery.

So that's what I did through the month of June, basically.

I have missed you and hope I haven't been away too long and that you'll come back to visit me as I get myself back into the habit of blogging again.

I Get By With a LIttle Help From My Friends.

Well, it's not really true that I've been neglected (see previous post). But it is true that we've been working really hard with no days off - grateful, truly, for the work in this economy. I'm also grateful for the work in how it strengthens the team-building aspect of our marriage and how I learn something new everyday. Work is a gift and as I get older, I'm learning it is a gift we can easily take for granted.

This was a large mixed-media piece I did before the heavy work began. It is on watercolor paper, with another watercolor torn up and collaged on top. It still looks like background to me and I feel I must add something over the top - maybe some large black silhouetted calligraphy- spiritual words.... Or not. I would be very grateful for your comments and ideas because I'm a little dry on creative stuff right now. Someone just needs to light my flame again.

No Love in Farmerville.....

I'm not sure Sweet Farmer loves me anymore.

No kiddin. I haven't seen him in days. Last night I came in from cutting a large triticale (it's a grain crop) circle at 3:30 a.m. and he only opened one eye and said, "glad you made it in". That's it.....nada. nothin. zippo. I saw him briefly when he came in the night before at 4:00 a.m. from baling hay when I got up to pee, but before I laid back down, he was sound asleep!!

The other day I made him kiss me for 10 seconds. After a bemused grin, he went after the task with gusto, but couldn't finish because he burst out laughing when he realized I was actually counting down with my fingers. Yeah, he couldn't even make out 10 seconds.

He personally showed up to fill my swather machine with diesel the other day (i knew it - he was missing me, he usually sends the "pit crew")but when he finished, he just jumped in his pick-up and drove off with a wave. I called him, and said I .... WAS .... going to give him a big, juicy kiss and offered him other lewd things over the phone- but he just laughed and said it was hot and he was too sweaty and then mocked me with my own line that's he's heard many times before, "i don't feel very pretty right now".

He did bring me a fake bouquet for Mother's Day that he found when driving through our itsy-bitsy town that a sweet Mexican woman had put together and needed the money AND A HOSTESS chocolate cupcake that I instantly tried to eat the whole thing in one bite and ended up with all the cream on the end of my nose. He knows I'm a sucker for stories of how a busy farmer tries to find the perfect gift for his wife when he lives in a town with an only a convenient store and a bar -and he waited until Sunday.

We talk of date nights and down time. He promises me sweet, beautiful, long romantic dinners. I know it must be true. And when he does take me out, us both "feeling pretty" again , he'll look across the table like only he can at me and say so sweetly, "you know what? you're the prettiest girl in the room".

And I'll have his undivided attention once again.

Tea Party Tuesday

I'm so glad that Kimmie at Art in Red Wagons invited me to her tea party. I know she would love for you to come on Tuesdays also. Today, I had Chamomile and Citrus Tea from Mighty Leaf and dreamed my whole house was clean. I'm glad to have the afternoon off.

I love blogland for this very reason - friends that remind you to slow down and share your day with someone.

This is what I would share if I sat down with you for a cuppa-

Yesterday, I got a call from an older friend of mine who is a real hooooot. In fact, she's the best birder woman I know. She has 421 birds on her life list!! She called to give me a tip about Orioles. She says add a drop of orange flavoring to your regular hummingbird recipe and you'll have the colorful sweet things come home to your house. She, in that instant, reminded me of a passion I had let fall to sleep, and immediately I was awake and alive and ready to begin again my journey to really seeing and knowing the birds of the air. So I'm heading to our wildlife refuge (Bitterlake Wildlife Refuge) to get a closer look at my long-lost passion. I'll pick some other friends up a long the way - would you like to go??