Passions of an Odd Chick

Sunday, September 14, 2008


This adorable young man is my son, Tucker.

Tucker may be young but he is an ole soul. A veteran. Not of any wars, but a courageous victor on the battlefield of Bipolar I. This insidious disease fought to steal his brilliant mind at the young age of 18, and nearly took his life a dozen times before he turned 23. But he never gave up and fought back and still fights. When the doctor's drugged him so much he couldn't drive, he got a bike. When he got too dizzy for a bike he walked. When the social worker said he was completely and totally disabled and would never work again, he proved them wrong - he worked. And he's been able to support himself totally in that last 5 years.

And it never mattered how sick he was... he went to church. He walked miles sometimes to be there but he was always there. Sometimes unkempt, unstable, fragile, prescription drugged - but he would always want to be with his church family. And they wanted to be with him. They knew his demons and many were/are comrades on his battlefield.
Even though 85% of people diagnosed with this disease abuse alcohol or drugs to self-medicate, Tucker has never used illegal substances (okay, he has a New Year's story or two). He's even quit smoking. It would be so easy for him to indulge in drugs that would calm his overly-active mind.

But I've never been as proud as I was of him today. Because today, Tucker's father who rejected him most of his life, and has completely rejected him since he was about 17 (Tucker's nearly 27), walked in the same restaurant we were eating our Sunday dinner. Tucker sat back and said carefully, "my dad just walked in". I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Do you think you could go over.... and shake his hand and say how are you?". Tucker looked sick, literally. In fact, he had to go to the restroom because he thought he was going to throw up. But when he walked out, he had a different countenance. He walked up to the man who has caused so much hurt and so many wounds, and shook his hand and spoke with kindness. Today Tucker was the bigger man. And it freed him as I knew it would, to step into the thing he feared the most (rejection) and conquer it. His dad did not embrace the moment, but I can't help but think that he, for once, had to be proud of the courage of his son and what it took to cross that barrier.

And Tucker learned that no one can really reject you if you value yourself.
Today, in Bible class Tucker made the comment, "For those of us who are all over the page emotionally, I can't act on what I "feel" because it's not always truth, I have to act on what I "KNOW". And the truths that Tucker knows stand him well. And it gives his ole mom comfort to know that no matter what happens, Tucker has a foundation of truth to rely on even when his physical and mental world are troubled, his spiritual reality protects him from all seen and unseen enemies.
He has a warrior's heart. And a beautiful, protected mind.

11 comments:

Shelley said...

Thank you so much for sharing that story. I pray that all my girls will grow a warrior heart to fight through life... God is good!

linda said...

this was very beautiful to not only share but for me to read, given what has been happening in life lately....bless you for being such a courageous mother and your son, for being such a warrior...it's very hard to do.

big hugs!

Adventure girl wanna be said...

Wow! New here! Interesting and lovely;)

Paula Villanova said...

A warrior's heart and much love, strength, and wisdom. You must be very proud.

Countrygirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Countrygirl said...

What a beautiful thing you have written here - but not only here - in your and Tucker's lives as well. The warrior's heart has been formed not only by Jesus; but by his momma.

LUCIANO FIGUEIREDO said...

Hi! It was a pleasure to know your blog and feel all the strength and faith through your words. Thank you for your kind comment on my blog and thank you very much for sharing with your readers such deep emotions of your own. It is really touching.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I'm sorry I'm late to this. It is a beautiful post, and I feel so honored that you shared your son and his courage with us.

Jeannelle said...

My goodness.....your son is a survivor, for sure! May God continue to bless him with strength and hope for each new day!

Kimmie said...

You are a wonderful mom to this boy! Your son is a survivor/veteran - and you are too.

Hippie's Thoughts said...

I wanted to thank you for sharing this story. As my son is batteling his own deamons of a different form I hoe he'll find the same courage in his future.