Trust & Insecurity

I watched a trailer of a video that I wanted to buy. A man named Cheng -Khee Chee was dashing beautiful delicious color on very wet paper and then taking it off and then adding dimension and detail of his favorite subjects - coys. It was only minutes but I had to try it. What did I have to lose but a 1/2 sheet of 340lb watercolor paper?

I decided to paint a horse - go figure. But I wanted to give up control and let the horse come floating out of the picture like this talented man's coys came to life before my eyes.

So I painted quickly, intuitively.

I painted with a bigger brush. I put massive amounts of color on and then I took it off. Crazy, huh?

I stopped myself and walked away even though I was having so much fun. He was still sorta damp when I took the picture. (click him to get more detail)

And don't laugh at this one... I kept my blurry reading glasses on so I could keep some softness.

And I like him. You don't hear me saying that very often. But he doesn't have all those hard edges and tiny bush strokes that I don't like. I didn't draw him, and erase him and over-draw him again - he just came out, because I trusted myself. I TRUSTED MYSELF!! Can you party with me right now!! Can you slap my butt while we do the happy dance? This is huge!! ....now i'm feeling uncertain....like maybe you won't like it and won't see what i see....that it's really better.., i think.... BUT, i'm gonna trust myself and push the publish button. .... and then wonder, is he finished....., is he just interesting to me,.... like is he good today, but not good tomorrow... hmmm...i'm already tired of looking at him... he just told me he didn't care whether i like him or not... he is what he is... He is what he is... today, and I'm enough today.

My cat

We have a cat that always looks pissed off. Maybe she is but I think the markings on her face give her a sour faux demeanor. But her eyes are incredible. It took her about 3 years before she decided she wanted to be a lap cat. Otherwise, she will tease you for attention and then bite you and run away - her favorite game.

I wanted to try my hand at animal hair again and I'm closer than I was the last time I tried.

Actually this is one of those times when I should have just left well enough alone and been grateful that I got a great photograph. Instead of the red-eye reflection, I got her golden orbs - all without re-touching. Pretty gorgeous, huh? Could you believe she was a very sick little kitten that Sweet Farmer found in the road?

This is a good time to show you a little sketch I did from an interesting wine label. I believe it says "Castle of the New Cat" once translated from French.

As anyone knows who has a cat knows- su casa is gato's casa - that's Spanish for "it ain't your house - it's the cat's" -

On Friendship

To see the need nor pause to seek
As one all-wise in right and wrong,
Why he has proved himself so weak
Who had his moment to be strong;
To give, nor ever think to learn
What shall be given in return.

To hear a cry for aid and run
All haste from whence that summons came
To do what plainly must be done
And bother not to fix the blame;
To serve the need and never pause
To know whose fault and what the cause.

To play the friend whene'er I can
With all the power that I command,
Knowing the blow that fells a man
Is quite enough to understand;
To see him down and lift him up,
Hungry and fill his plate and cup.
-Edgar Allen Guest

YOU DESERVE IT

If my readers are still with me after yesterday's shenanigans, I want to thank you and wish you a very happy Valentine's Day and send you this rose. I created it in my art journal and then re-created it on Flickr just for everyone of you that I've grown to care about and that have encouraged me along this artful journey.

"....but there's another kind of love...one that gives
you the courage to be better than you are not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that YOU
CAN HAVE THAT. I want you to HOLD OUT FOR IT. I want you to know that YOU DESERVE IT."

-quote from Nights in Rodanthe , italics mine

You Never Paint Alone

The beginnings of this happened the weekend my grandsons were here. They always want to paint so I got out the watercolors and we painted together and because they are always unconcerned about what they will paint - they just begin, with no thoughts of failure - it's always such a lesson for me to watch them. So, I begin with nothing in mind but to add color like Linda at Vulture Peak Muse and then just let the painting tell me where it wanted to go. She makes the most amazing art by following her heart. So I just followed this friend's suggestion- an unknown path for me- feeling a little lost, but curious and unafraid.

Everyone saw the castle in my under-painting and so today I tried to paint it in. I didn't know what I was doing but that never seems to stop me..... you see, I don't mind being lost- as my friends can tell you. The only way I'm going to learn my way is just walk my path - listening to the other voices along the way. I guess you never really paint alone.

Re-gifting

"I went to the mountaintop and received a gift.

I went down into the valley and went to the market and carried it with me under my robe."

Japanese proverb

Some of our most treasured gifts are memories of places and people that touch us to our very core. And once we take time to bring them forward into the open spaces of quiet reflection where we examine them with the precision of a jeweler, we find something exquisite in the treasure that may have been hidden upon previous inspections.

And once again, the gift is re-opened and re-gifted to our very own soul as if we had never seen it -magnified now with a thousand joyous memories with brilliant facets going in every direction, like a handful of diamonds scattered out on black velvet.

May you find those gifts deep in your soul for this season.

You can leave Africa but it never leaves you. -

Who done it??

This is one of the last pages of my tree journal. It is a study of a painting of a very famous artist, one of my very favorites. Can you guess who it is? Can you name the painting? Who will be first to "Name That Artist". The background of the my sketch is a little different, but everything else I tried to remain true to the original. I learn so much from painting after a really good painter. You see their shadows and techniques and nuances. And I love, love art appreciation and art history. For me, imitation is just another tool of learning.

On imitation, I would like to leave you with this quote from

Kahil -

I have learnt silence from the talkative,

Toleration from the intolerant,

and kindness from the unkind;

Yet strange,

I am ungrateful to these teachers.

Monk Magic

Sometimes picking a sketch for my daily art journal can be a most intriguing experience. It only happens every now and then when I am open to the concept but sometimes I let an image pick me. Like - if I see a repeated image, read of it, hear of it in the same day - then I "feel" I'm suppose to try to draw that image. Something, Someone inspires me....(bear with me to the end of this)

Well, that's how it happened with this monk. I like monks. I have used them before as imagery. But this time, I tried to draw "why" I like monks. They seem prayerful, intense, intriguing, historical, silent, passive, courageous, martyred, - those kind of words are the force behind this sketch.

Much later in the day, (not by coincidence) I'm reading and come across this quote: "Being an artist is like being a monk; you have to be willing to forsake comfort and desire for the greater good of your work"- Jason Robert Bell

This is a watercolor painting I did months ago from my Mary Ann Beckwith's class.

It's not finished. I could sure use some suggestions on how to finish it.

Anyone can use these images. I got them from this site . They encourage you to use these images of Burmese monks to promote freedom for Burma and its people. Though monks normally don't get caught up in politics, the monks in Burma silently and passively marched together with the people to protests their murderous government and many were killed, beaten and tortured because of their involvement.

By the way, do you know why they wear saffron (reddish,orange) robes? Well, there are lots of stories but the main one that always comes up is originally they would go to dumps and scrap piles and gather old rags for their clothing and then dye it in the cheapest dye available which was a deep orange powder (saffron) from the crocus flower.

Anyway, do you believe that you can be "inspired" by Someone? We use the word so casually. But one of the definitions for "inspire"is: to be guided by divine or supernatural inspiration. When we say the writers of the Bible were "inspired" by God, it means literally in Hebrew that their writing was God-breathed. Is it possible that God's breath still permeates in us/around us to do some certain thing? Wouldn't it elevate the things you do if you knew for certain that He was behind the thought or action? Should we be more open to His promptings? Did God nudge/urge me to draw this monk? Does that sound silly or even sacrilegious to you? I would like to believe that He influences me in my actions, even as He leads me in creativity. What do you believe?

Palette Change

Well you can't stay red hot forever. I decided that I would try to sketch these lovely compositions with a cooler palette. I'm not usually a pink girl but there was something about these colors and treats that drew me in and made me want to be prissy like a little girl playing tea party. I do love tea and all things tea! And tea cups and all things sweet - because I need more sweetness in my life, a lot more gentleness. I need softer edges and cooler colors instead of the intensity and boldness my character leans toward naturally. Needless to say, these are not my compositions, or palette - nope, no originality here from me. If you want to see the real artist that inspired me to attempt to sketch these - take a look at this eye-candy . But maybe her sweet pinkness will rub off on me - just a little. They do cool me off a little- but they make me hungry - not good.... not good....

I'm almost finished with my first, ever art-journal and I think this is my favorite watercolor sketch. You may have seen my photograph -I didn't get the faces quite right. They were quite a challenge for me.

These are children (Maasai children to be exact)in case you couldn't tell - who were actually rounded up by their teacher to sing me a thank you song for giving them suckers. They may look older because even though they had a pure naivete, they also had an old, wizened look to their faces. Their clothes were just that colorful. Sometimes they just tie up t-shirts and rags to make their ensemble. I think because they live in mud houses on dirt among the bush of Africa their eyes long for color. They live a very simplistic life. These children were happy, playful, and joyful without one toy in sight. They were curious as little kittens and very respectful. I loved the Maasai children. I could have spent all day with them just watching them play with their sticks like the real spears of their fathers. I'm so glad I have a photograph, and now a sketch to remember them. I hope to do a painting of this study someday soon now that I learned backgrounds and back-paintings from Mary Ann Beckwith.

Poppies for summer

Yep, I'm still into reds, oranges and turquoises. And I'm into poppies. I sketched this off the front of a magazine cover. I think that blooms, and living plants represent life to me and that's why I like to draw them.

I can feel something like new growth inside - from a seed to a bloom. Not pregnant, not possible!!!! But there are new things sprouting in me and my mind. Some people plant gardens and then there are some people who dig up and till the good, rich soil in their own heads and plant and nurture those new creative thoughts planted there. I think we have to pull weeds, and rake the ground of last year's debris and successes and work that soil with all the passion and struggle of a sweating gardener. We let the good Lord water and grow the things He is leading us to, and let Him leave the tares that will make us push passionately toward the sun (SON), and rid ourselves of the things that rob our nutrients.

After all, we started out in a garden walking with Him in the cool in of the evening. Maybe now that our body is His dwelling place, it's not too far a stretch to think His Spirit grows a garden within us. I hope mine is vibrant and hopeful as poppies!

The Greek Horse

" In ancient Greece this 3.3cm tall model would have been sold to visitors to the Sanctuary of Artemis Orthia on the banks of the river Eurotas at Sparta. Thousands of small figures have been found at the sanctuary which include animals such as stags, dogs, horses as well as models of the goddess herself. They were left behind as offerings to the goddess. "

However, my painting is an offering to the One God.