Passion and Pain of Frida

This is my rendition of Frida Khalo. She was a strong woman who had great passion, yet lived with great pain so I didn't want a smiling portrait. She was strangely exotic with her dark eyebrows that went clear across her forehead and some photos (and even her own self portraits) show a slight mustache above her lip. She had a turbulent, but passionate love affair with her husband, Diego.

I'm not sure why, but I've always been fascinated with her and I've done her several times, and never been quite pleased, including this one. It seems as soon as I told you about my plan, I began to freeze up and have been barely able to draw or paint and nothing has flowed. But I'm going to act like a real artist and suck it up and keep working through it.

Only 17 more to go in case you didn't read about my plan, you can read it here.

I cried when I read all of your comments. You can't imagine what your support means as I'm fairly isolated and have no one besides Sweet Farmer to bounce these off of- and he doesn't like portraits with big eyes or words. So thank you!!

Reclaim Yourself

I have a secret wish -but I'm going to share it with you even though it scares me just to type it out to the universe.

My plan:

To make about 20 of these girl portraits to encourage women to be strong in their lives and to value themselves.

Then, I want to have a little show at a darling little gift shop here that does that sometimes for new artist.

If I sell them, I will add it to a long-time dream to TRAVEL to Italy in October of 2011 and take my mom and daughter or at least help them go.

If I don't, I will pay for a booth at our art gallery in hopes of selling them.

If they don't sell there, I will give them away for a silent auction for our food pantry in our little community, of which I'm on the Board.

I will make prints and maybe calenders for friends and family.

I cannot fail with this plan. I cannot fail with this plan....

I keep telling myself I must value my art enough to promote it and sell it.

Now that you share my secret wish maybe somehow it will make it grow.

What is your secret wish?

(This is a mixed-media piece with acrylic and watercolor pencils and charcoal. What you're looking at is actually a 8 X 10 print, rather than the original.)

A Girl With Attitude

I'm LEARNING. I AM.
It feels so good to see some progress.

• I'm learning how to blend my acrylics! THIS IS HUGE PEOPLE!! I'm so happy about that!
• I'm learning that I can use good paper to paint on and not just canvas and that they don't take up so much room (under the bed) and it reminds me of my journal which feels very comfortable.
• I'm learning to let my attitude show- that it is okay that I'm not SWEET, like some people I envy- that I have a EDGE-y-ness and I can let it show in my art.
• I'm learning that if I can't get a desired affect with one medium, then I can with another. The world is MMMIIINE in art supplies MMMMAAAHHHH.
• I'm learning that I can make it any darn thing I want it to be and that I don't have to show it to anyone if I don't want to - that I paint until I like it- period.
• I'm learning to use my hands in the paint and to rub charcoal in for drama, but wipe it off for goodness sake on the end of your fingers before you go back into it!
• I'm learning that consistently working, leaving a mess in your kitchen, everyday, does produce results and you can still cook with half a counter.

You can't imagine how much your encouragement has spurred me on.

One thing to ask- I haven't actually painted the words in - I only digitally placed them to see if I like them (another lesson). I would really like your honest opinion about the left side of the painting. Any better ideas?

• OH, and I've learned to ask my friends when I get stumped.

Conviction

con.vic.tion :

1) the act of convicting

2) the state of being convinced: strong belief

One of my favorite authors, Oswald Chambers, said, "It is easy to be determined, and the curious thing is that the more small-minded a man is the more easily he makes up his mind. ..... The difference between an obstinate man and a strong-minded man lies just here: an obstinate man refuses to use his intelligence when a matter is in dispute, while a strong-minded man makes his decision after having deliberately looked at it from all standpoints, and when opposed, he is willing to give reasons for his decision."

I have had many strong convictions and beliefs. I have been a person of strong opinions and never afraid to share them. And I've lived long enough to see many of them shot down and left to die a slow, tortuous death.

I have learned that there are very, very few real convictions that are worth more than relationships.

We should chose our convictions very carefully.

and the hill we chose to die on.

Or in the end we can be become a convict of our convictions.

Can you stand a little cheesy romance?

Sometimes you get magical paintings and sometimes you get a magical day.

You know, one of those days when you are so freakin happy in the moment that you think you could cry.

But I didn't.

Because Sweet Farmer is still clueless and gets confused about a woman's tears other than when someone dies.

It started out with a hearty breakfast and a good movie in bed! YEh, no hay to cut, rake or bale.

Then we rode on the Harley through the Hondo Valley to the little historic town of Lincoln, New Mexico. Now the Hondo Valley is the place that inspired the likes of artists Peter Hurd and Henrietta Wyeth. We ate at the Laughing Sheep Farm which is tucked right outside the quaint little town. This eccentric little place grows most of their own organic food and I could see the tomato plants and most of my other salad veggies growing right outside the open screen window by our table. That hot pink thing you see on my plate was a quail egg marinated in sweet beet juice. I had fresh vegetable soup with quail meat and rice and a generous glass of pignot grigio. And I just basked in the sunlit room, with a guitar player singing old songs, and a big white Pyrenees dog named "Bear" sleeping in the foyer. Sweet Farmer asked me several times if I was having fun because he knew that it was sooo my kind of place - simple and romantic with natural foods and natural surroundings. I just smiled and ordered a sweet apple crisp with caramel coffee and SF practically had to pry me from my chair when it was time to go.

This little pond was right outside.

I lay down in the grass and rolled around like a fat cat on cream and looked over at my Sweet Farmer, and thanked the whole universe for giving me this million-dollar-day.

And then he took me to my favorite art gallery in Lincoln.

And on the way home on the back of the motorcycle, I did cry a little when I thought about how happy I am, but the wind blew the tears away - swift and efficiently, and all Sweet Farmer knew was that I squeezed him a little tighter around his middle as we rode back down the valley and I could see him smile in the wing mirror.

It's one thing to create a great painting in a life-time, it's another thing to live within it.

It's cheesy- but that's how I feel today- thank you.

Animals Gone Wild

Thank you all for your encouragement regarding my last little odd painting. Nothing quite as magical as that has happened again even though I've tried to re-create that mystical experience, but it did spur a highly-creative period for me. I'm trying to enjoy different color palettes and techniques and continue to be loosey-goosey in my expectations and let things happen as they may.

Remember these fun little images. Well, I followed through and made some cards out of them and tried new techniques that included sewing and collaging.

So much fun!!

There is no way to fail using these messy and shabby chic ideas.

And I'll leave you with another little odd animal painting although it slightly resembles me and Sweet Farmer on a Sunday afternoon. We feel like snuggly, big, lazy blobs sometimes.

A quick thank-you to Kre8iveLife
for a sweet blog award. I don't really like the crazy roundy-rounds of blog awards but I do TRULY appreciate it when you think of me. I loved looking at the other blog friends that she included in the award and you will too.

My list would include all those listed to the right of my blog and all my followers. They constantly inspire me everyday- and that's the honest truth.

5 things I love:

walking on the farm

hearing my son sing

watching my daughter sew

blueberries

my kitchen bar messy with art supplies

"The Gathering"

This is a real painting finally (unlike my journal pages) on board with acrylics. I painted the back painting using some of my favorite colors and let it dry. Then I began to look at the board to decide what kind of drawing I wanted to start with- I had NO pre-conceived ideas.

NOW THIS IS THE FREAKIE WEIRD PART!

These little creatures just began to appear!! I am not lying- and I wasn't smokin' anything or drinkin.

I just took a pencil and began drawing around what I saw as quickly as I could before they disappeared. The first one was the little woman/ground squirrel in purple thing. She just made me smile and then there was the next and the next. They were all just standing there looking at one another like they were having an animal meeting over a serious subject. The fence was sort of there, but I went ahead and filled it all the way in to give the painting some continuity.

It was so much fun and SO EASSSSY to draw them, then to just paint them and darken the backgrounds so that they would stand out.

I'm sure this has happened to someone else besides me- but you need to share it with me - because I'm a little freaked out. I mean, I've been practicing making watercolors and "finding" fun little animals since I got the new book from Carla Sonheim but this was different. Mystical- Magical. These little creature/peoples just said, "I'm waiting- draw me out" like a Beatrix Potter moment.

I've tried it again but it didn't happen. So, I want to know from those that it has happened to if I can expect it back -whatever IT was.... BECAUSE IT WAS A BLAST!

I'm just feeling so much blog love right now. Where would I be without the blogs and art sites that I can visit right from my little ole desk? It constantly amazes me. But more than that, it feeds me. Literally. My mind craves and hungers for art. It's like music and nature and love to me. It must be a part of my everyday, walking around life.

I'm sure many of you have been following 30 Journals 30 Days . If not, you are in for a absolute treat. Within those blog post and interviews were reminders to me that I can't fail, that I have to let go.

Ahhhhhhhh.......letting......... goooooooooo. I do Yoga to let go and I do art to let go. It sounds so cliche "letting go" but letting my mind spill out (not my mouth)- letting my creative dreams have a new birth outside myself. It's a silent revolution in my soul's deepest heart. (can you tell I struggle for the words?) while I silence my critic that chases me around and tells me to hold tight, expect failure and mediocrity.

It's still true that my art bounces around everywhere- that I haven't found my style, my own niche. But I'm okay with that. Really. It's too soon still. That would be like a child who wants to know what they will be when they grow up. The truth is.. I've never known where I was going. For instance, if someone would have told me that I would fall in love with learning to ride dirt bikes when I turned 50, I would have laughed at the ridiculous idea. But here I am - with my grandson-having the time of my life!

So I'm just growing up. I take a new trail pretty often and I'm enjoying the scenery.

I'm using a lot more tools these days, less rules. Lots of paper. Lots of instinctive-gut-stuff. Using the Internet and books for inspiration. The main thing is: I really get that if I don't like a drawing or a painting- I just haven't finished it yet.

I'm learning the same acceptance for myself.

I'm so happy that I wake up everyday with another new chance to grow toward up.

Full Nest

All my chicks came to visit last week, including my Mom and Dad. We had a full house and when they left, although we love the quiet, we missed the constant energy they created while they were here. It truly was a singing, busy little nest.

I layered on this page in my journal while it laid on the kitchen bar between meals, and snacks and visits.

But I wasn't the only one creating.

My mother had taught my daughter, Joli, to make a ruffle, and this is Joli now passing on a sewing lesson to her little niece.

My son-in-law took some Sculpey and made this adorable cowboy head because I told him I wanted to make an art doll sometime. He is a very talented cowboy artist.

Then my Dad tried his hand at it. This was his first time to mold a head with clay. Isn't it amazing?

It still needs baking and paint.

Then, of course, I had to try and I started this head and then my Dad put the finishing touches to it. We think these would make interesting and clever wine stoppers.

There was lots of love and lots of creative energy flowing around, where the corn is growing high and pumpkin plants coming up for fall make the perfect back-drop.

I caught Cash loving on a toad.

I'm a blessed little bird to have such a sweet nest of goodness.

New Art Book

ALERT- to those who have a weakness for new art books.

If you need a little fun in your life and need to loosen up - well, I've the got the book for you.

I just got my signed copy in from Carla Sonheim - hot off the press.

I went crazy devouring it and experimenting with the new ideas.

It gives you 52 little creative exercises to improve your drawings and make drawing fun and stress free.

I had a lot of fun with the 8th chapter where you just paint red, yellow and blue on a page and then "find" the creature(s) in the random paint marks. I found that it really helped train my eye to work with the paint and encouraged my imagination and also helped me to trust my instincts.

Aren't these funny?? Like my little grandson says: "Sometimes I just crack myself up".

(This one of the cat came about by looking at a cracked wall and finding an image .)Exercise 38

Is this serious art? Maybe not. I think these will make great collages for cards and make my friends smile. They will be fun exercises to share with my grandsons. I think I will go back to this every time I begin to take myself too seriously. Thanks CARLA Freakin Awesome SONHEIM!

Go ahead - crack yourself up today and we'll share the grins.