Happy Trees

Okay, since nobody really liked the sad photo I did yesterday, I thought I should send a little more happiness and joy. I painted this while we watched a stupid movie last night. I like the trees, they look happy to me. Picasso once said, "The world doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?"

I think that is why some of us want to draw and paint to create our own reality. We can for a short time change our reality by being totally absorbed in art. Some people drink or do drugs or travel to change their reality for a short time. Some people do art. It is my drug of choice. Not that my current reality is bad - it's wonderful. But I like to change it now and then - for the same reason I still climb trees- I like to get a different perspective on the world now and then.

Love Makes All Things Grow

This beautiful grackle lost his life somehow and fell right by my garden stone. He was so brilliantly beautiful in a macabre sort of way. I felt I had to record his death, and honor his graceful passing. My husband thought this photograph very strange and disturbing. I don't mind being odd chick, but I don't want to be strange and disturbing. So I leave it up to your comments about how this photograph affects your spirit. I feel stillness and peacefulness in the form in which he's fallen and that his current shining brilliance is only a vision of what his future holds. The Bible says that God knows when a sparrow falls so I know this death was recorded in the heavenlies.
But he didn't fall unnoticed in this place either.

Glass Block Window in Bathroom

okay, so i went into my poddy to tee-tee and this is what I saw.

Do you see the tree(s)? There is a pecan orchard out this window, but the glass made it so wonderfully art-FULL. I love finding unexpected treasures.

But you have to keep looking for them even when you tee-tee!

Beauty

today's sketchbook entry -

"Like the hummingbird sipping nectar from every flower, I fly joyfully through my days, seeing beauty in everything.

-Amethyst Wyldfyre

What do you see out your front window today?

ahhhhhh

This is my view now that the sun is going down.

This was my view since sun-up.

Either way - Life is good.

New Camera!!

I got a new camera! A Canon SX100 IS . I thought that these were interestingly strange photos even though I did the odd coloring by accident because I haven't read the whole book yet. I think I overexposed these shots- if you're a photographer you could leave me some comments - but they still looked intriguing to me in my own quirky weird sort of way. I love the lines, shapes and textures. I crack myself up because even sucky pictures make me happy.

Painted a little this weekend too.

Not totally happy with this one. It says, "she dreamed of horses". I'll work on it some more.

And I'll work on my photography some more. I learned a long time ago if I waited until I knew what I was doing to start doing something, I would never get any closer to doing it well. So I just do it and know that in front of me is a beautiful painting or an exquisite photograph just waiting for me to get finished with a thousand hours of practice.

Dragonflies - an odd collection?

I collect dragonflies. I think I've loved them since I was a child. Flitting across my vision, they look like jewels that are just out of reach. They never stay still long enough for me to dwell on their fragile beauty. Their elusiveness can be quite intriguing. Did you know dragonflies live as larvae on the sides of tanks and lakes and water troughs for several months before they hatch out into their fantastic new clothes? They live the last part of their lives at their most beautiful. I want to go out like that . They never hurt another living creature throughout their whole life span - I can't say that about myself I'm afraid. I love that they have sex while doing cart-wheels in the air. Not going to attempt that one. They have been around for 5000 years. They are an indicator species which means if you have a healthy habitat of water and greenery, you'll have dragonflies. I'm happy to report that Roswell has more different dragonfly species than anywhere else in the rest of the world as records go for now. I've been as far as Africa and all the way to Greece, and every culture has the dragonfly symbol. Though they are simple and have never gained the respect or the ideals of the butterfly, I think dragonflies should be noticed for their uniqueness and gentleness. They don't try to make themselves known, they just live out their lives in such a way that you should know them to enhance your own life. That's something else I would like to achieve with my own very precious life.

Have I mentioned that I have this beautiful little friend that has stayed by my side, literally, for 9 years. She is almost blind now from diabetes but she still follows me everywhere. This little minature Australian, I call "Annie" knows a huge vocabularly of English words and is constantly eavesdropping on my conversations so she can anticipate where I'm going and if she will be welcome. She also knows my shoes and whether they are conducive to her coming with me. She knows when I am sick and won't leave my side even to eat. She immediately defends me against all new dogs or strange people. Once I fainted and hit my head on a tile floor, I woke up to her licking my face. And she watches me like some small sphinx (or at least stares towards me, and listens to me)- constantly, when she's not asleep by my side. It can be unnerving sometimes but mostly it is very comforting. She is a very dear friend - I know no other way to describe her. We get each other and always have. I believe dogs will be with us in heaven because I believe we will go back to a garden setting where animals dwell peacefully with us. After all, that's what He intended all along before we messed it up.

Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace." - Milan Kundera

Work, Rest, Play

I got up early because I wanted to get to my Challenger swatther and prove to myself that I could service it before I ran it today. What good was I really if I couldn't service my own machine? I drove up to my new buddy- my big ole honking machine (i love things that make me look small but make me feel powerful) by 6:00 a.m., filled it up with diesel and then worked to learn how to turn on the air-compressor that would help me with an air-pressured grease gun. I had watched our mechanic do it several days before and I was certain I could figure it out. Well, I turned it on, pulled the cord, (okay it took me a lot of pulls to get the rhythm) found several other levers. Are these the gas, choke, what's this other little silver thing-a-ma-ghig? Called husband. He's a little put out with me for trying (he's always worried I'll get hurt) but he realizes I'm going to do it with or without his help -so he begins to describe to me what I'm looking at. Well, all I could do was try and low and behold --it started. The purr of that machine made me giddy, like I always am when I learn new things and conquer something previously unknown to me. I found all the grease zerks in the front of the header (husband says it's vital that those be greased regularly). I found all 6!! I'm on a roll. I can grease things and blow out things (because it has air-hoses attached too). I'm a pretty handy dud. Husband was surprised I didn't know this stuff already. He can't even take himself back there because he can't remember a time when he didn't know how to start a small gas engine. I told him there were still lots of buttons he pushed with me and he didn't have a clue what he was doing. He agreed. And he left me with my own self - gloating.

New Baby

We have a new baby in our tribe. Cottonpicker's daugther, our niece, had a beautiful baby girl. Everyone is excited. It's amazing how you can fall so completely in love with this total stranger and how their presence effects the whole tribe. A Mother was created that day, a Grandmother, Grandfather, and us, Great Uncle and Aunt. We like being great at something.

My own grandchildren changed who I am. They made me want to be a better person. I thought about the fact that this is my second chance at giving these little folks the best person I can possibly be. So I determined that my grandchildren would never see me without patience, kindness, goodness and all those gifts of the Spirit. That they could honestly tell someone that their grandmother never got mad and acted ugly or said ugly things about anyone.

They only stayed for 2 or 3 days so I could pull it off. But one time they stayed for a week. And I realized the whole week I had controlled my tongue, my attitudes and had sustained my patience. It dawned on me- if I can do it with my grandsons for a week, I could keep practicing on others around me and see if I could do it for longer than a week. I couldn't depend on my own natural self - I had to draw on the well-spring of Christ's life and image. It was only with His help. Well, of course, I still fall out of sorts. But I'm better. Thanks to two little boys for giving me the gift of second chances. Their's is the purest love I've seen given to me and it has changed me.

Odd Chick Works Sometimes

That's me in a Challenger winnrower. It cuts feed like hay and barley from the fields. Husband taught me how to drive it and I have worked several straight days from morning to dark. One day I worked from 7:00 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. and only got out to tee-tee. I had brought snacks thank goodness. I had my ipod, a good radio, a good air conditioner and an air-ride seat, and lots of time to just think and pray. I'm not roughing it by any means. Plus, I cut hay in wide-open hay fields and saw 2 coyotes, a pheasant, several hawks, rabbits, antelope and lots of birds. Your view is high above the feed and when the wind blows the barley in orchestrated waves below you, you can almost hear music in the field. Not a bad way to spend the day! Poor hubby had to work all day and check and bale hay all night. He only gets to sleep in snatches. Me - I fall into bed and sleep like a baby!! I'm so grateful for the work and for the way God blesses us every day. What is work anyway? My six-year old grandson would consider this a JOY ride! It is only our perspective that changes about a circumstance that we began to call it "work". It is what I wanted to do so I enjoyed it like a six-year old. Maybe the new will wear off and I'll forget I had fun at my "work" and I'll have to remind myself that work is either fun or drudgery - it depends on your attitude. I like fun. - and you thought I was just goofing off the last few days!

Joy of Painting

My daughter and grandsons came to visit me and we painted. I got so much joy out of watching them choose color and become so engaged in their projects. I think they got a lot of joy from it too!

No surprise, Gus wanted to paint a truck. So he drew a line and I drew a line and he was pleased. But the next day, he wanted to draw a manure truck for his dad (which I thought was fitting since I give my son-in-law manure every chance I get, and vice-versa) and he did an excellent job. Under the picture, he wrote in his 5 year old script, "We are friends". It's a good thing I love his dad too, or I would have kept the darling picture. Even their Mom, my sweet daughter, slowed down long enough to paint. I think she is very artistic. She just doesn't know it yet. She's in survival mode with 2 kids, a high-pressure job, and doing other things (besides being a good wife to my lucky son-in-law) like in the community, her church and the kids school that would appear to most to be another full-time job. I think this is a gift she will unwrap for herself when she's 40 or 50 so I want to help her dabble. Anyway, we got her to paint and collage. Isn't she cute???

Gus told me I was "Peggy Sue Awesome To The 10th Power". I'm feeling pretty awesome alright after their visit!

"We cannot become what we need to be, remaining what we are" -Max Dupree

Does anyone else find it difficult to work through a shadow part of yourself. I call it shadow part because we like to keep it in the dark, or it hangs around and follows you and shows up in front of you now and then.

I have asked God to reveal to me any shadow parts that aren't pleasing to Him. I loved that I was actually saying that to Him because it makes us both happy and comfortable. But do you know what He does!! He actually answers my request!! He usually sends some difficult situation or person to pull that ugliness out of me, and then practice a better way of responding.

OUCH!
It's hard, wua,wua, wua, it's like lifting weights and getting really, really sore. It's like stretching and feeling the tenseness of slight pain that makes you back off a little. Hard exercise. Strenuous climbing. Slow progression. Slight improvement. Set-backs.

He stretches me with all these practical "exercises" of actually using my faith in everyday, walk-around situations and then at the end of the day, when I lay my head on His lap, I hear Him say, "we're almost there", "I love working with you", "at least, we're talking regularly through this", ... and my favorite, "everything's going well to work this out in you". I look at His Son.... and BY GOD, literally.... I want to be like Him because He was really, really, pleased with Son. And He set the perfect example to follow. He loves me too much to let remain with my shadow parts. That's the kind of Father we serve.