Passions of an Odd Chick

Monday, April 9, 2012

Faith questions...

Dante's statue in Florence, Italy
Have you ever had a feeling of foreboding? Like something was coming?
I did. It was like a Spirit or an inner voice preparing me. I knew I wasn't suppose to worry about it, or plan for it, or save up for a rainy day. The Voice just told me it was coming, to be grateful for this good day but be prepared, not scared.
Now is this just too weird to share? But how can we collectively know if others don't have this experience if we never share it?

October, my son had a bleeding ulcer and quit breathing during the procedure to repair it. He's okay now.
November, my husband had a bleeding esophagus and got dangerously close to death through blood loss, and reactions to the anethesia. He's better than okay now.
February, my father had a massive stroke. He is slowly recovering. He will be in rehab for many months but he is making progress.
I have 3 best friends whose husbands have life-threatening diseases and they are struggling through the hardest of times right now. Another very dear friend lost her mother last month.
Many things are happening  but I am still certain that the same Awesome One who prepared me- cares for me. Cares for those I love. Holds me up, comforts me so that I can comfort others.

My faith tells me it was Him that spoke to me.My lack of faith questions how and why, or if it is just human intuition, or that the shoe eventually drops in everyones' life. Or that seasons change. 
Or all of the above?
I know He's big enough take my questions. Handle my insecurity and lack of faith.
But if, IF, what He does for me is as real as it feels, HE deserves so much more from me.

You don't have a soul.
You are a Soul.
You have a body.
    -c.s. Lewis


Jennifer Richardson said...

oh yes, the ole dropping shoe
I know that feeling well
and wrestle with all that you
write about
and have to believe
that the One who created us,
loves us inexplicably
and is relentlessly FOR us
is the One who holds all the shoes.
Holds them tender kind with this
rich thick mercy
that is so full of options and solutions
that the shoes somehow lose
their dreadfulness
when you really look at the face
of the shoekeeper.
Soooooo much grace to you
and your lovies,

DJ said...

What struck me about this was that several incidents ended with "s/he's okay now..."
Sounds like healing to me. :-)
Love & Laughter,

simplyred said...

I cannot imagine a life without faith, without the knowledge that I'm being watched over and taken care of even though things often feel out of control. But things aren't out of control, they are just out of MY control. God is controlling things and I can be at peace.

(Ms.) Ernie

Poetic Artist said...

I know I do not know why things are but I know the one that does.
He allows these things to mold us into who we are..If one person is sick sometimes it is to teach others how to talk to him more or it is sometimes for the person who is sick to become closer to the one who not only design the shoes.The same one who designed the shoes will then with loving hands He sews and mends the shoes by Hand and then adds what ever is needed where it is needed..Sometimes the shoes have small heals for small walks and sometimes the heals are tall for those mountain walks..Then most of all the shoe that is for running so we can run right into the arms of the maker of the Shoe. Sometimes we just trip over our own shoe strings but guess who loves us enough to reach down and lace our shoes. Yes the Shoe Maker.
Hugs to you my friend..

Bren said...

You and the family have certainly been through the wringer in these past months. So grateful for His constant presence in our lives