You want to know a secret?
I think I'm afraid of canvas. And Oils. And Permanence.
Paper is safer. Paper is thin, cheaper and can be tucked under your bed, slid behind your bookshelf, torn-up, unnoticed, unverified, closed up in your journal.
CanVAS. OILS!! oMG! So expensive, a "real" painting, lasting decades. Someone might grab it up and say, "Hang it here", or "I want this one"... or what is this back here, under here??
And then every little mistake - your crooked eye, your disproportionate hand, you strange color palettes, your missed mark, your held breath, will be there for everyone to see, to point out, to make a mountain out of.....
The perfectionist must meet the randomness of your creativity. Not a good couple. They fight all the time.
Someone might have a great expectation if you got an easel out and a canvas and spent weeks on a painting... and it still didn't measure up.
Michele Cassou says: "The Dragon of Control has many faces; don't let it fool you with cleverly disguised arguments."
Never trust your secret face.
It's a secret for a reason.