The Ugly Stage

The painting is at a really ugly stage. It's too stripey, darks and lights aren't defined, no real direction...still. It's like it's turned 17 and gone really rotten like a bad teenager. I want to cry. I want to kick it out. I don't know why I even shared it with you because I'm ashamed. I wish someone else would come in and raise this child.

But I've learned that paintings go through ugly stages, just like people, and that you can't give up. That you have to keep with it until you and the painting emerge. And just like a bad teenager, once it begins to bloom, you can't over-parent them, over-work them- that you are part of the process, but you are not all of it. I need a miracle. I'm expecting one any day.

Treasure The Everyday

In honor of the new season, i wanted to do a fall painting. Plus, i had a small box from Golden of sample gels and paste and a new bottle of Gac 200.
(These are all polymers that mix with acrylic paint for different textures and different results.)
All these, and some new acrylics and a museum profile canvas box (10X10)made for a very sweet day yesterday. For the life of me, i wasn't smart enough to photograph it to show you all the fun textures and molded stamps hidden throughout the painting.

So many of you have followed this journey with me of learning to draw and paint. You've seen me

make lots of studies of popular artist and try to re-create, in a more humble version, something of what I saw in theirs. But now, I'm trying to create without looking at anything - painting intuitively, they say... and it's a lot scarier but so rewarding, when after much effort you begin to see something that would actually attract you if someone else painted it. All the studies and all the practice have helped me to begin to make my own stuff. I'll always be a student, but I feel like i'm looking over my safe nest, getting strong enough to take flight. Your encouragement has meant everything....without it, i'm certain i wouldn't have had the courage to keep pushing myself out of the nest.

But if this isn't something that makes you smile, maybe you will enjoy what is playing on my front porch as we speak.

Setting My World Right Again

We couldn't go anywhere for the holiday weekend because we had hay down in the field. The wind had blown my first raking of the hay all over the field and I re-raked it again yesterday morning. Sweet Farmer baled until 1:00 a.m. and the rest of the night was a bust as neither of us could sleep. He was either snoring, sneezing or flopping around like a fish - and I flopped right along with him. Long, Long night. It reminded me of when I cared for a sick baby eons ago.

I don't bounce back so quickly from those sleepless nights anymore.

Along with the work I absolutely had to do and no more, I did manage to paint a whimsical little painting with my new Golden fluid acrylics and I must say the pleasure of that has certainly lifted my spirits.

I realize a good night's sleep will cure most of my ills.

I realize that I can nourish myself with no more than a few new ounces of paint.

I realize that my spirits can be lifted in a matter of hours and a little play-time.

I realize I'm very fortunate because it takes so little to set my world right again.

All things Hairy And Warm......

Have you ever stepped into a pen of dairy cows?? Well, this is what it feels like after about 3 minutes later because first they shy away. But then, with nervous curiosity they all slowly come forward, step-by-patient -step, moving together, lowering their sweet heads and their drooling chins, stretching their necks and noses to the safest point toward you to just get a whiff of the new "cow". And if you stand really still, you will have the unique privilege of feeling huffing, wild breath, moist and musty, the embrace of all things hairy and warm, and you will be part of an earthy, ancient dance of comradeship - that will be broken with nothing more than a sniffle or sneeze or the click of your camera.

I was there. And wanted to remember.